Teledyne Water Pik Family Oral Irrigator WP-30 -- "The truth is, I would marry my Teledyne Water Pik Family Oral Irrigator WP-30 if I could. That’s how much I love it. If I wasn’t already married, and if I was an Oral Irrigator, or if the Oral Irrigator was a person, and not married, and if it was a woman, or if I was a woman, and it was a man, I think we would get hitched." (Comments: Funny.)