Think you have more problems with technology than any other person on the planet? Think again.

Posted by: John S. Rhodes on September 17, 2002 12:35 AM

 

Roadkill Bill by Ken Avidor

Posted by: Mac on September 17, 2002 10:07 AM

 

Last night we went to the local multiplex to see 'Signs' by M. Night Shyamalan. I enjoyed the film because it told a sci-fi alien encounter story without playing the CGI card. Shyamalan reminds me of Hitchcock with the attention to detail and understated direction. Every camera angle, prop and pan adds to the richness of the story and tells you more about the characters than an artificial narration ever would.

But my trip to the cinema was ruined by the gaggle of teen girl banshees who were squealing like stuck pigs all through the film. None of them could seem to follow the film and were constantly asking each other questions about the characters and the plot. I think a couple of them were also txting each other about the film as well! To be fair there were lots of other people 'discussing' the film as well, they just happened to be the loudest. I got to thinking about how 'technology' would solve this problem for me, and decided that the cinemas will propably introduce speakers into the cinema seats that give you an 'individual dolby listening experience' while at the same time using anti-noise techniques to block out extraneous sound. My solution would be different: I would go back to the old system of employing ushers who would roam the cinema with their torches and threaten people with expulsion if they spoil it for other people. I was thrown out of my local cinema twice by ushers, but I hasten to add that I was about 10 at the time and it was when I went to that organised chaos that was known as the Saturday Morning Picture Show with Flash Gordon etc. I know this is sounding a bit 'Victor Meldrew', but stick with me a bit longer. (Since I read "Seats In all Parts" by Lelie Halliwell, I have had a hankering to open my own cinema and show films that I would like to see.)

Needing some relaxation before going to bed I got my PocketPC and read the lastest edition of the Salt Lake Tribune. Two stories caught my eye, the first Reviving Main Street, contained somments such as "We are looking at making buildings more human-scale, where you can park your car and then utilize the area through trails.". The second story High-end Computer Processors Aren't Luring Consumers Another possibility is that consumers see no real need to buy more performance when slower, less expensive machines handle most jobs well enough.

I then also read how Kids can't tell the time, and this got me thinking about the role of technology in our society.

I came to the conclusion that Usability folk should be working towards "Technology On A Human Scale" and that this is the main reason why I love Webword so much. I think that I would descrive myself as a Luddite or a Ranter. I am getting more sypathetic towards Ted Nelson, with my heart saying "yes", but my brain asking questions like "how can we improve it without throwing the baby out with the bath water?"

Posted by: Mac on September 18, 2002 03:50 AM

 

Mac, very nice posting. Fun little story, good use of links, and very...human.

Posted by: John S. Rhodes on September 18, 2002 11:01 PM

 

My cinema solution is the Hyper-Sonic Sound System with night scope. Spot a talking head from a 100 yards away, then channel your voice into the sound stream that pipes directly into the yapper's ear -- and only their ear -- "SHUT YOUR HOLE!"

Posted by: Jack on September 18, 2002 11:26 PM

 

Better yet... Use listening devices on the back of each chair to identify the direction a voice is coming from and match the coordinates to a specific seat. Cross-reference this data with a seismographic device in the seat of each chair that detects the rhythmic vibrations in the larynx made when a person speaks (easily differentiated from brutish movements of people shifting in their seats). Once the loud mouth has been identified, shoot 150,000 volts into the seat to incapacitate the louse.

Posted by: Jack on September 18, 2002 11:39 PM

 

Jack, I'm really glad that I'm not allowed to carry a gun because if I could...

Two die in Brazilian cinema shooting.

The paying moviegoer has the right to not hear other moviegoers speaking or conversing during the movie's exhibition. We hold that the exhibitor has the duty and responsibility of ensuring that silence prevails during a movie, so that other paying moviegoers are not disturbed during the viewing of the entertainment they've purchased. Violations of silence we affirm to be most offense and common in movie theaters are audible conversations, cellular phones, and babies crying.

From The Paying Moviegoer's Bill of Rights

Posted by: Mac on September 19, 2002 03:00 AM