Posting Date: September 17, 2002

WebWord Comment -- I've decided it would be fun to post the most stupid, outlandish, and insane things from the spam I received today.

"Your e-mail was taken from a public place. There is no need to unsubscribe as it's one time mailing."

"The consignment containing the USD$12,300,000.00 will be released to you in the two large trunk boxes."

"Smokers accepted!"

"OPEN ME FOR THE BEST TIME EVER!!!"

"Offer Expires August 18, 2002." (Yes, this was in my inbox today.)

"This is not a spam."

"We respect your privacy."

"T" (Simple and to the point. The email included nothing else.)

"This is a limited time offer Expires SEptember 30, 2002!" (Well, at least the date is in the future. But you have to wonder, if you are going to go through the effort of sending out a "business offer" to thousands of people, shouldn't you at least proof your work?)

"mailv07a.gif" (Ahh, another short and sweet message. Very deep and meaningful. Are you as moved as I am by this inspirational message?)

"4066" (Ultra short, but "T" is still 3 characters shorter.)

"undefined undefined More... [Close] [Close]" (WTF?)

Share your spam instanity today!

Reader Comments...

Duration Of Penile Erection

Posted by: on September 17, 2002 09:29 PM

Please click on their names for their full resume.

We are a fortune 500 company that is growing at a tremendous rate of over 1000% per year.

Don't fall prey to destructive viruses or hackers!

Lose weight while building lean muscle mass and reversing the ravages of aging all at once.

Commission Potential PAYS to INFINITY

You can make $50,000 or more in weeks sending e-mail.

As seen on NBC, CBS, CNN, and Oprah!

Would you like to lose weight while you sleep?

Hello! "Qcsbs-rrrr" $1,500+/Wk Millionaire Cash System

Want a BIG PENIS?

Posted by: Jack on September 17, 2002 09:43 PM

Breakthrough enlargement formula works on men and women. That's scary.

Posted by: Adam Kalsey on September 17, 2002 10:25 PM

More...

"pvmoakwtseqouyqlyrfjapf"

"Pussy is just a few clits away!"

"Please know that we do not want to send you information regarding our special offers if you do not wish to receive it."

"Email us now with your phone number to hear how crystal clear your connection will be."

"Did you receive an email advertisement in error?"

"No actors here!!!"

"Please DO NOT place orders for investments over the e-mail system. Delivery and timeliness are not reliable."

"You're Still Sending Me Viruses!"

"Drop me into any gathering of 10 people and I will reveal which 5 should be millionaires."

"It has come to our attention that you may be entitled to an undisclosed amount of unclaimed money."

Posted by: John S. Rhodes on September 17, 2002 10:47 PM

I hate the ones where they use the names from your contact list so that it looks like one of your friends.

I am onto my 12th email address now........ blah!

Posted by: JB on September 18, 2002 12:30 AM

The spam engine in the new email client from Apple OS10.2 and Yahoo mail have both been reviewed favourably. Any other companies out there that manage SPAM and that you can include as an ADD-IN module as part of your email client? This would be bliss :)

Posted by: daniel szuc on September 18, 2002 02:18 AM

You will play an active role in this epic saga of humanity's struggle to colonize the stars.
The galaxy will change before your eyes, and be determined by your actions, and those of your allies and enemies.

Posted by: Mac on September 18, 2002 02:55 AM

I received the same spam, word for word, from four different addresses today. All four are offering to let me into the secret of how to make a fortune from spamming. The subjects were:

Live and work like a rock star!
Easiest Job In The World & I Have It. So can You.
Don't Work Hard, Work Smart & make more $.
Join The Spamming Community. Make alot of Money.

Now, I never realised that spamming was like being a rock star. I'm tempted...

Posted by: Alan Fisher on September 18, 2002 04:22 AM

Help with possible Spambot?

I have noticed a new user agent in my usage stats.
The agent is "MFC Foundation Class Library 4.0", which implies someone has built a crawler using miscorosft libraries. This agent has jumped from nowhere to number 1 in my usage stats.

User Agent Stats:
UMD
Jul 2002 - Not in logs
Aug 2002 - (10) 2.55%
Sep 2002 - (1) 6.53%

I have checked the webword usage stats and found the following.

Webword
Jul 2002 - Not in logs
Aug 2002 - (4) 4.49%
Sep 2002 - (1) 10.38%

The top IP address in Sep for UMD and Webword is 216.97.236.218 (ebuildingsolutions.com)

Does anyone know anything about this crawler?

Posted by: Mac on September 18, 2002 07:13 AM

All your base are belong to us.

Posted by: mcw on September 18, 2002 07:59 AM

Here's a good add-in for Outlook:

JunkURL
http://www.andersson-design.com/junkurl/index.shtml

Posted by: Lyle - Usability Guru on September 18, 2002 11:30 AM

"You are receiving this message because you have been identified as a registrant of an Internet domain name or electronic mail recipient."
(Yes, I can see that IDing people who receive e-mail makes me a very targeted segment of the market.)

"This popular game on CD-Rom would normally cost you .95 With this special offer you pay only shipping and handling and the game is yours for free."

"This offer is only valid for the next 48 hours, so Act Now" (48 hours from when?)

"A Magical Vacation Offer window.open("http://www.spamsite.com/disney/disney199_dynamic.cfm?phone=(866)769-8257&mrksrc=0512061","FloridaVacationStore","width=150,height=310,toolbar=no,menubar=no,status=no,scrollbar=no,resizable=yes")"

"We offer no income verification programs"
(So you verify that I have no income? Cool. How much does that cost?)

"all information is kept strictly confidential" (Right! - this from a Spammer...)

Posted by: Lyle - Son of a Usability Guru on September 18, 2002 11:47 AM

I just got one that said "Your Potential Account Will Be DELETED."

Oh no! You're going to delete an account I haven't even signed-up for yet! The humanity...

Posted by: Ryan on September 18, 2002 12:28 PM

Is this the right time to point you all to Spam Radio, a delightful blend of ambient electronic music with a soothing synthesized voice reading today's spam?

Thought not.

Posted by: glasshaus Bruce on September 18, 2002 01:10 PM

Hello ngruetz !
(And a double-dumb-ass on you!)

ADD 3 TO 4 INCHES OVERNIGHT! GUARANTEED!
(On my ivy growing outside? How delightful!)

The Original Breast Firming Natural Formula
(Plaster of paris?)

PLEEEEEASE READ!!!!!! it was on the news! (Omigod, then I'd better read it right away!)

Bring out her animal instincts
(er... I'll pass, thanks)

Ultimate HGH: Make you look and feel 20 YEARS YOUNGER
(Great - I can watch PlasticMan on TV again!)

Did you know you're losing 100 hairs a day?
(No, I didn't, but thanks for the heads up)

IS A GRANT RIGHT FOR YOU?
(Gee, I don't know, I've always preferred the name "Jared" or "Nick")

Posted by: Lydia on September 18, 2002 02:58 PM

You start bleeding during bowel movements.

Let's talk stools.

Posted by: Jack on September 18, 2002 09:05 PM

Dear, dear me ...

"REQUEST FOR URGENT TRANSFER OF USD36.5 MILLION INTO
YOUR COMPANY OR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

I AM Dr.DESMOND OKAFOR, AN ACCOUNTANT WITH THE
NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC) I CAME
TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND
"REPUTABLE PERSON WHO CAN HANDLE A VERY STRICTLY,
CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION WHICH INVOLVES TRANSFER F A REASONABLE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT. THERE IS USD$36.5M (THIRTY-SIX MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND
UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) IN MY DEPARTMENT AWAITING
REMITTANCE..." and on, and on it goes ...

Posted by: daniel szuc on September 18, 2002 10:30 PM

(Pathetic!!!)
THE PATRIOT CIGAR HELPS THE WTC FUND.

Since the attacks on September 11, many Americans have shown their patriotism by buying The Patriot. With sales exceeding over 100,000 cigars per week, The Patriot is fast becoming America's most sought after smoke. In appreciation of this, a portion of the proceeds is being donated to the World Trade Center Disaster Relief Fund.
(My spam kill file is over 100 pages long.)

Posted by: Chris on September 19, 2002 05:29 PM

Spam Assassin - http://www.deersoft.com/sp_pro.html

Posted by: daniel szuc on September 22, 2002 10:50 AM

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